I’ll be blunt … it comes down to YOU.
As you work to make an impact, connect with others, and try to make a difference in other’s lives, start taking 100 percent responsibility 100 percent of the time. Anytime you feel stuck, overwhelmed, tired, or whatever it might be, it can be traced back to a list of 19 different things that stop us - known as the Anti-Responsibility List.
The Anti-Responsibility List comes from a spiritual talk by Lynn G. Robbins. I apply everything spiritual to my normal world because I don’t believe there’s a difference between spiritual and temporal. Everything spiritual can and should be applied temporally. Whether you consider yourself to be a spiritual person or not, this will resonate with you because these are true principles.
Let’s dive into this fascinating list so that you can identify which areas may be a trap for you.
The Anti-Responsibility List
1. Blaming others. Blaming is all too common today. We see it happen in politics and families. So much blaming! It’s a super easy trap to fall into.
2. Rationalizing or justifying. One of our earlier blog posts talked about the spirit of slumber vs. the spirit of action. If you missed it, check it out here. The spirit of slumber happens because of justification and rationalization. For example, if you are not calling people to action, there always is justification for it, always. "I just felt like the room wasn't quite right." "I just felt like there were only this many people, so I just didn't make an offer.” “It just wasn't the right time.” “It just felt out of place." We justify, and we rationalize.
3. Making excuses. Mr. Robbins says excuses come in a thousand varieties. Anytime you are not getting a result, catch yourself. Are you making excuses or making results? It's that simple. If you are not getting the result, check what excuses are coming up.
4. Minimalizing or trivializing. Do you minimalize or trivialize negative behaviors, thoughts, or emotions?
5. Hiding. This is huge today. We know we are supposed to do something, but we turn and hide. We hide behind Facebook, go watch movies, etc.
6. Covering up. Closely related to hiding, yet its own beast. There is a tendency to cover up what we’re doing when it’s not what we know we should be doing.
7. Fleeing from responsibility. Can you identify any times you’ve run away from a responsibility?
8. Abandoning responsibility. Similar to fleeing but this is complete abandonment.
9. Denying or lying. Definitely a lot of that going on – and definitely not part of being 100 percent responsible.
10. Rebelling. When we reject something that we shouldn’t.
11. Complaining and murmuring - big one today. A lot of people hear or see something they don't like and instead of talking about the solutions and what they are going to do about it, you hear them complain, murmur, bicker, and argue.
12. Finding fault and getting angry. Finding fault with others instead of looking inward – and then letting anger swell.
13. Making demands and entitlements. It's kind of a pride thing. "I am too good so that’s why I didn't do it."
14. Doubting, losing hope, giving up, or quitting. Big thing happening – people are doubting, they are in fear, losing hope, giving up, and quitting. Did you know that by quitting or giving up or doubting yourself, you are literally becoming a victim to your circumstance? Because the moment you doubt yourself, you doubt what you know is true. You are saying to yourself, "Well, maybe I am just not good enough, maybe I am just not capable." It's basically like throwing up the white flag and saying, "I can't do it. I’ve got to surrender. I am incapable, I am just going to give in, give up, go home." And you become a victim. Or you can switch it around and say, "I am owning this. I am stepping in with faith. I have the hope. I have the desire, and I am sticking to it no matter what." That, my friends, is a powerful energy to come from.
15. Indulging in self-pity and victim mentality. Woe is me! Wallowing in self-pity and victimhood never points you the way you want to go.
16. Being indecisive or being in a spiritual stupor. Indecisiveness is a state of not taking full responsibility. We put off making a decision. In the enrollment process, this is significant. When you call someone to action, a common response is, "Let me think about it." What I hear them say is that they are not owning and being 100 percent responsible. "Let me think about it," means I am afraid to confront what is real. "I am not sure. I need to think about it," means I'll avoid and I will not talk to you again, because I am scared of myself and my success, and scared of you because you are successful and I am not.
17. Procrastinating. Another part of indecisiveness.
18. Allowing fear to rule. Similar to hiding but different enough to make a distinction.
19. Enabling. Really interesting one here. The author mentions that enabling is actually a way that you become a victim. It happens when we help others avoid responsibility. I used to call it productively procrastinating - doing something that I feel is productive to procrastinate and avoid what I really need to do.
Agency vs. Victimhood
The moment you hit one of the things on this list, you can immediately say that you are now a victim to circumstance and are no longer in control. And that is the power of each item on the list - they cause you to give up your ability to choose and you no longer have complete agency, you become a victim. Some will live in this place their whole life - but not you, because now you can identify where you are shifting responsibility. You can choose instead to make a commitment to be 100 percent responsible.
Anytime I am not living up to my fullest potential, I can circle one of the things on this list. By recognizing it, I can do something about it.
Check out and study the full talk here. Post in our Enrollment Masters Facebook Group your experience with this list. Which one are you not confronting? Own it - publicly on a group and share what you are going to do about it. That is taking 100 percent responsibility.