Listening with intention - this principle is probably one of the most valuable I’ve learned. I can attribute making more than $500,000 in half a year to this principle.
Most of my life, I did not listen with intention. While I was growing up, my mom went through four divorces and my dad went through two. I suffered a lot. While a lot of my suffering was self-inflicted, I didn't know how to change it. I tuned my ears to listen to certain things. My mom would send me to tell my dad something for her and then my dad would say, 'that's not right' and send me back to tell my mom something he said. I felt like I had to be the mediator. I learned that I didn't want to listen with intention. In fact, I believed that communication caused hurt and pain.
As I started to realize the pain I went through was a gift I could learn from and give back to the world, I also realized that my parents had trained me and taught me how to communicate very effectively. That changed my life. As I applied this new understanding and invested money with some amazing people all over the world to master my communication skills, I was able to see that by listening, I could hear what people were saying but more importantly, I could hear what they weren't saying.
When someone says something and you feel like it's off - not quite right, listen to that and then speak to it. For example, I’m enrolling a client and they are talking about their vision. I tune in and hear the words they use, the tone of their voice, the doubt or excitement - and often something is off. So I call it out and say, “When you just said xyz, I felt like you didn't really mean it because if someone really meant it they'd say it like this..." (and give an example). Most people realize the truth in that and often when they think about it, they realize that it’s because someone else told them what their vision should be. Then we talk about what they really want - not another person’s vision but their own. Suddenly that client feels heard - sometimes for the first time in their life - and now they want to work with me.
When you listen with intention and you do what I call "follow the thread," a mediocre conversation changes into a life-transformation. Conversation transforms lives. It has the ability to build, to lift, and to inspire. It also has the ability to destroy. The person who decides which it will do is you. That is the power of communication.
There are so many resources for learning to master communication. We offer in-depth courses, there are millions of books, courses, and programs - and there's no one right resource. Just go master this. Practice it every day. You're going to communicate anyway so you might as well master it. You communicate with everyone around you by your body language, your tone, your voice, your words - it all matters. So go study, practice, immerse yourself -- and master the communication process.
Communicate with intention and your intentions will be met.